Resolving Conflict in Friendship

In any relationship, conflict can arise as it relates to differences in opinions, preferences, convictions, and communication expectations. Conflict is an unavoidable part of life we should expect to confront from time to time. Conflict in friendship, like all other relationships, is unavoidable. Our humanity will not allow us to escape conflict. We should come to view it as something that does not have to be negative, but instead normal in the growth and development of all relationships.

Amos 3:3 (CEV) tells us, “Can two people walk together without agreeing to meet?” The answer to this age-old question is obviously, no. From this passage we glean the importance of agreement in relationships. We also gather the necessity in choosing to “meet” one another in this process. There is power in deciding to meet each other for the good of finding a place of agreement in friendship.

When expressing consideration in friendship, women must always remember this clarifying point when it comes to resolving conflict: our friend is first our sister. If we seek to honor God in our friendships, then we must honor one another as Sisters-in-Christ. We are all His beloved daughters, and we cannot misrepresent our Heavenly Father by being at odds with each other because of unresolved conflict within the friendship.

We can never take the bait in allowing ourselves to be friends that turn to enemies against one another. Let’s not forget we have a real enemy who would love nothing more than to tear apart all of our godly friendships with other women and influence us to focus on fault-finding, disagreement, and being judgmental.

. Remember, Jesus told us in John 10:10 (CSB), “A thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.” We cannot allow the devil to kill, steal, and destroy our God-ordained friendships with our sister.

All of the key ingredients that make for great relationships - effective communication, active listening, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, patience, grace, humor, humility - will serve us well in our friendships with other women when attempting to resolve conflict. Let us commit to keeping open hearts and minds so that peace can overflow us and flow through us.

I leave you with this thought: peace is not the absence of conflict. In fact, it is possible to have great peace in the midst of conflict. Conflict can actually be productive when navigated in a healthy way. In the context of friendship, when processed correctly, conflict can yield fruitfulness and growth that strengthens the relationship. In this way, we will continue to embrace flourishing friendships in our lives.